Week 1, Day 3

Yesterday was a "non-run" day, so I did my "Biggest Loser" aerobic workout and the weights work out; even though my legs are killing me! The small muscles that wrap around the inside of my knees, my thighs and my very inner thighs hurt so badly I almost couldn't move them. And just wanted to cry. But I knew they would only hurt more if I rested them and then tried running again today. So I worked out yesterday, even though it hurt. I spent much of the day heating and icing them. That pretty much didn't do anything. That was yesterday.

Today was another "run day", with the same 5 minute warm-up, and alternating 60 seconds of jogging and walking for 20 minutes. Oh man, the first time we had to jog, I thought my thighs were going to snap in two. It hurt so badly! I could barely move, so my stride was very short. But I DID IT! Today I had the stop watch, and it was easier mentally to be able to see how long I'd run and how much longer I had to keep it up. I feel really guilty that Brent has the stroller, but he seems to handle it really well. (And I do offer to take it from him.)

There were times when I think that I was jogging the slowest jog ever known to man, but I was still DOING it. I was so proud to see the substantial improvement from just 2 days ago. On Monday I thought I was going to die. I gave up and walked at least 4 or 5 times and was almost wheezing I was so out of breath. Today, I only gave up and walked at the last 10 seconds of the very last (10th) jog!!! I was disappointed that I did, but I was really out of breath. Although I wasn't huffing and puffing nearly as bad as Monday. I'm not about to say that today was easy by any means, but it was easier for me. But I've never pushed myself like this before, and I'm excited to see actual improvement.

So we went home and I stretched. My legs are still screaming at me when I walk, and especially when I go to sit or stand. But I know I'll be okay and that I just have to work through the pain. But while working out like this feels fantastic, I have to admit, I'm kind of excited that tomorrow is a "rest day".... then we gotta do it all again on Friday!!

8 week goal...

Did you know I used to be thin? I mean actually thin. When I was in high school, I had an anxiety issue that severely reduced my ability to eat. You know that feeling you get when you're really nervous, and you can't eat because you have no appetite and you fear that food will simply come back up anyway? Imagine living with that feeling about 90% of the time. This was my life back then. It consisted of waking up, starting to get ready for school, and throwing up, every morning. After I threw up I'd feel a bit better, but still not well enough to really eat anything. This is why I was thin, not because I ate healthy foods. I also had to endure 4 years of P.E, thanks to the Illinois State education system. This is why I was thin.

This anxiety started to fade in my senior year, thanks to some really great pills and a supportive Mom who came with me to counseling sessions. It didn't go away completely but improved a great deal. Things were going really well, but then I had the brilliant idea of getting a different part time job. I was on my feet every weekend as a server at IHOP. Well, I wanted a less demanding job that would allow me to spend more time with my friends. So I began working 3-4 nights a week and Saturdays at Fannie May Chocolates. BIG MISTAKE. On a 4 hour shift I would see an average of about 5-10 customers. During the down time I would package chocolates, create baskets,and arrange displays. Although much of the time I would do homework, write letters, listen to music and stuff my face with gourmet chocolates. I would bet I'd eat a good half pound a night, at least. Needless to say, I gained weight. And my weight has gone up and "yo-yoed" ever since. I didn't even know what a calorie was or how many a person should have in a day, until after Brent and I were married!

I know I'm big. What you may not know, is that I hate being big. I love to eat junk food. It just tastes to stinkin good. I love burgers, pizza and ANY dessert I can get my hands on. I also love to sleep, read and watch tv. I struggle with laziness. I always have. I have my phases of working out, but they usually don't last much longer than a few weeks, only to bomb out and have several more weeks of sitting around. At my very heaviest (nonpregnancy) I was about 220 pounds. That was when I lived in Provo. In high school, when I was thin, I was about 140. I lost weight when we got married, down to 160, only to put it all right back on and continue the cycle.

That all being said, I stopped my good working out routine this time around ,when we hit the road for our trip to Utah. While in Utah I gained 6 pounds. I weighed myself yesterday morning.... 212. I knew I was gaining some because my pants were getting painfully tight, but that's about 18 pound up from the day we left for Utah.

I weighed myself yesterday because Brent and ,I together, have a goal. Thanks to his 9 weeks off of work, and Jillian Michael's new show, we are both going to take 8 weeks and train to run a 5K. I've never run in my life. I'm horrified.

Today was day 1 of week 1. It almost KILLED me. We warmed up with a brisk walk for 5 minutes. Then we jog for 1 minute and walk for 1 minute, alternating for 20 minutes. Let me tell you, I felt every ounce of the extra 65 pounds I'm carrying around. In the walking minutes, I could barely catch my breath. The jogging minutes got harder and harder and by the end my body was practically screaming at me to just stop! I hate how out of shape I am. Although, even when I was thin, I wasn't "in shape" or fit. I've never run.

So, the house now has 0 junk food. I'm not snacking inbetween meals and I'm really limiting my portion sizes at meal time. I'm HUNGRY. But I know my body will adjust in a few days and I'll not be so hungry. Everything takes getting used to. Tonight is my 2nd night without some sort of dessert. The chocolate chips in the freezer are calling to me. But I'm so tired of not meeting goals. This time I don't have a certain weight to reach. I have a distance I want to jog. And this time I have Brent right there beside me. I am going to do it and I am going to feel like her again...

Also, Brent has started his own blog, if you want to follow is journey the site is: www.brasman.blogspot.com

Couponing Woes...

I've been really trying hard to get good at couponing. I think I'm starting to do much better. Although I'm starting to notice that the more I coupon, the worse our diets. I'm finding really good deals on toiletries and diapers and such, but when it comes to actual food, the only really good deals I'm finding are in snack foods and condiments. We've had frozen lasagna, pizza and plenty of cookies and packaged rice mixes. Although when you're roughly 60 pounds over weight, with junk being so cheap, you end up paying for it in pants sizes and regrets. We have 11 packages of hot dogs in the freezer. I'm thankful they'll keep for a while in there.
I love the idea of feeding my family for super cheap, everyone does, but I'm not finding the foods we should be eating for the great prices. I found myself simply aching for produce the other day. I'm starting to come to the realization that couponing and dropping unwanted pounds might not go that well together. I'll stick with focusing on toilet paper and shampoo... it's a bit disappointing, but at least I can get feminine pads and razors for practically nothing now. So that's good.

Author Mom...

My Mom really wants to be a writer. And she is very talented. I was really happy to get this letter from her this morning:

Hi Everyone,
I just got the results of the "First 13 Lines" (or first page) writing contest I entered. I submitted four different pieces and THREE WON! I won 1st and 3rd place in Adult General Fiction, and 1st place in Adult Mystery. My scores were (out of 100) 91, 84 and 94 respectively. I am in shock, many of the other entries were done by published authors of multiple books. So this is a big deal to me
Anyway, I just wanted to share my excitement. I'm still pinching myself!

Love,
Mom

Great job Mom!! I'm so happy for you... not to mention proud!

A job well done!

I'm so excited! This is one of my best couponing trips yet.
I got this:

for $10.68. BUT I got back $17.50 in cash back coupons to use on my next purchases. So, after the math I earned $6.82 for it!

If you don't count the coupons and only go by what I paid out of pocket, I averaged $0.54 for each item!! Still pretty good!

The cash back coupons are called "Register Rewards" at Walgreens and "Extra Care Bucks" at CVS. Obviously you can only use them at these stores, and they do expire. It's taking some practice, but I think I'm getting the hang of it!

Random Update

I recently took the girls to a fun birthday party. It was a Hawaiian theme, if you couldn't tell. They had a great time!

Brynley just kept picking up more and more.... Mariska on a pony.

Brynley sporting the Beauty Pageant look, and Mariska loving the trampoline.

Brynley liked the fake flamingos and the sand box the best, I'm not sure why she liked the flamingos....

I love this picture of Mariska... it reveals so much of her personality!

This is where Brynley spends a lot of time recently. She's so funny.

Flat Stanley visits the Zoo

Mariska and Brynley's cousin Haylee has sent us a fun character from a book named Flat Stanley. He is a boy who was crushed flat by a bulletin board and wanted to go on a trip. So she folded him up and mailed him to us. We chose to take him to the zoo. We just so happened to go on the day they opened a new butterfly exhibit and they had bounce houses and all sorts of fun things for the day. We also lucked out because it had rained all night before we went and so there was hardly anyone there! It was so much fun!

Unfortunately the real pony rides cost more money... someday, Mariska, someday...

Brynley loves the water, we couldn't get her to go anywhere else!

Brynley has a funny wave. Mariska waved as though she didn't have any bones, Brynley is the complete opposite! It's so funny!