Updates and pictures

Here are our newest pictures. Brynley is now 2 months old and 12 pounds! In most posts about how old their kids are people always say, "I can't believe she's 2 months old already!!"... well I can. Longest 2 months of my life! I'm a walking zombie. Time is crawling along very slowly, but she is starting to do some more fun things like smiling and "cooing".
Mariska is doing well with potty training but still isn't going in public at all. She's really scared of big potties. For the first few days she would sit on her potty for hours and hours and pee maybe ever 4... now she is "going" about every half hour. I have to clean up 1/8 cups at a time! But at least she's getting the hang of it. And she's taking pride in learning it this time, instead of screaming and fighting.
I'm just trying to do my best as the "homemaker". Some days are better then others, but we're all some what clean and being fed. Here are some pictures of my new awesome double stroller. Since I don't have a car yet this is the next best thing, it's a really smooth ride and I love it!
Brent has a good opportunity to work an after school program next year, if it came to his school it would make us an extra $500 a month... they vote whether or not to pick it up on Monday the 23rd, so everyone keep us in your prayers please!! That would be an incredible blessing for us.

ugh... excuses, excuses

Well this week's weight progress hasn't been good either. I lost a pound, but I'm sure I'm gaining it back, seeing as I haven't worked out at all last week or this week so far, I am just completely exhausted. The most sleep I get in one full stretch is 4 hours, if I'm lucky and that doesn't make the most productive Erika. Plus it doesn't help to have several large bags of M&Ms on the counter. People always tell me to put junk away, you know, "out of sight, out of mind."... but I'm not 4! I know it's there! And it calls to me just the same. I feel so lame for being "weak" in the food department. But sometimes my body literally aches for the sugar and fat, anyone who doesn't believe food can be addictive is, well, I want to say naive, but the word lucky also comes to mind. I would pay almost anything to be able to eat like a bird and skip merily along. I need to be locked in a room and forced to detox, and also be forced to eat smaller portions so my body can adjust and not need so much food to get full. But I'm guessing that's not about to happen. And I feel so pathetic for having so many excuses to not work out, but I'm also almost just too tired to care. But I really care about my weight and desperately want to lose it, finally. I'm really tired of not fitting into anything. Oh well, I'll try getting to bed earlier tonight and starting again tomorrow!

potty training... again

okay, last week Mariska's diaper popped open in her pjs and she got BM everywhere... so I decided instead of moving up a diaper size, I'd talk to her about how she's getting to big for diapers and that she can go on the potty. Today is the 2nd day without diapers. Yesterday she had 2 accidents and went on the potty once, she had been sitting there for 2 hours. This morning she's been sitting there for over 3 hours now, almost 4! I keep telling her that she only needs to sit on the potty if she has to peepee, but she's just been sitting there. She keeps telling me that she can't and that "it's hopeless"... but she won't get off either. So I gave her a sippy cup of water, hopefully something will happen soon. The other day we went to the store and she picked out Peanut M&Ms and Raisinets as her reward. I'm just going to keep her home until she's potty trained, although I sure hope she gets the idea before church, she's giving a talk in primary!
Well, due to rain, potty training and sleep deprivation, I have yet to work out at all this week!! I hate that! But I'm so tired my eyes are going crossed. Although my eating has been better so far. We don't have any real junk in the house, although I've "snuck" a couple M&Ms, and I had to grab some McDonald's the other day and you can't really do a salad while driving. But other then those two things I haven't eaten a bunch of junk, so we'll see what the scale says on Monday. Although more often then not I go by how my clothes are fitting, rather then the scale. At my skinniest in high school, which was pretty skinny, I was still 145-ish. My build just isn't one that could ever be considered "petite".

Does anyone have any idea what might be up with Brynley... she'll be hungry and need to eat. She'll eat some and then refuse to, screaming at me whenever I put the bottle in her mouth. But then a few minutes later she's fussing to eat again, but screams at the bottle!! She'll do this off and on for like half an hour, sometimes more, until I just force feed her enough that she eventually goes to sleep! I'm so confused and frustrated! She has her 2 month check up next Thursday, so if she's not back to normal by then I'll ask her doctor. Any ideas?!

Week 1 Weigh In

Well this week wasn't very good for my weight goal... luckily I didn't gain any, but I didn't lose any either. I started walking and did fairly well several days last week but my eating was terrible! We had a whole bunch of left over cookies after Brynley's blessing on the 1st and then Mariska and I made brownies on Saturday. I know we shouldn't have but she was bored and loves to help make treats. So my walking combined with bad eating made me just maintain the weight I am. Although my body feels pretty good since starting to walk. Although right now I'm so tired, I don't know how I'm going to muster up the strength to work out today... but I HAVE to! And hopefully I can eat better this week and actually start losing some! I have to do better! I have so many clothes that I want to wear!