Show the rolls, or go frumpy?

All of you know I hate my weight. I HATE that I can't fit into any of my clothes. But I HATE the idea of buying bigger clothes too. I feel like if I have to buy bigger clothes, then I have to end up looking like this: The point of buying bigger clothes would be to hide my chunk. I don't care what anyone says, a shirt does NOT fit well if you can see lumps and rolls through them. And with my shape, this is the only kind of outfit I could wear to not have all my bulge hanging out.

But, right now I feel like all my other clothes look like this:

I actually had a pretty good week when it came to not pigging out and doing all my exercises, until Thursday. Thursday was really busy and I didn't get a chance to actually work out. And what I was busy with was shopping, and I made the mistake of buying some treats "for Mariska", and ended up eating an entire row of cookies from the package. So this morning I put the rest (except 2 for Mariska) down the garbage disposal. And I was doing fairly well with not scarfing down the house until Brent came home and HAD to go out because of his terrible week. I need to support my husband, if he needs me to go out to a restaurant with him and get boneless buffalo wings and a giant bowl of carbs, well that's just what I'll do! And that wouldn't have been quite so terrible if I had worked out today, but no, Brynley wouldn't give me that much time today. Although, I must add, my friend and I did try going on a walk but it started raining, so I at least get a few points for that.

I've done really well this week but how long it takes to actually see change is KILLING me!! Its like, "I've worked out 3 times this week, these pants I haven't fit into for 3 years should fit already!".

I have a few pet peeves when it comes to fat. And since this is a "venting post" I'm going to list them...

- I hate the women who claim to be proud of their fat. Big and beautiful my giggly rear end. Yes fat women can be beautiful, but they aren't beautiful because they're big. They would be WAY more beautiful thin and healthy (not twiggy) and they know it, stop pretending.

- I hate the "no fat chicks" phrase on shirts and such. I would love to manufacture one that says "no fat dudes" and see how they like it.

- adding to that - I hate how okay it is for a guy to be fat over a girl.

- I hate having to pull out my shirt before I sit down so it doesn't get trapped in my rolls.

- I hate wearing panty hose to church because they make a swishing sound when I walk from my legs rubbing together.

- I hate how a shirt can fit just perfectly... except way tight in the arms so that if I bend my elbows at all they almost burst open.

- I hate how clothes makers seem to think that if you are a plus size, you automatically have huge jugs. My boobs are the LAST place I gain weight and the FIRST place I lose it, so a shirt can fit great except for the fact that the neck hole goes down to my belly button. This forces me to wear tank tops under everything which doesn't feel too great in 100 degrees at 60% humidity!

- I hate how clothes makers think that if you're a plus size your legs are 7 feet long. Or that if I have a giant rear end I'll still have a 32 inch waist.

- I hate how if your lower stomach is at all fatter then your upper stomach people automatically think your pregnant.

- It's really annoying when skinny girls complain about having stretch marks on their belly from having a baby... try them on your belly, thighs, butt, calves, hips, boobs, arms... mine have all basically just fused into one mega-mark.

Anyway, so I'm working on it, I just wish that as I start to work out, eat better and get to feeling good, that my clothes would fit as well as I feel. And I'm also annoyed that so many of my clothes are long sleeved, good for Utah, not so good here. That has nothing to do with being fat, but is still bugging me. But I really am amazed at how much working out stops me from craving 9 pounds of cookies and such. So I'm done. Thanks for letting me rant, assuming you're still reading this.