Poor Mariska is so bored! I've just been so tired, we've done nothing all week. Well actually we did make cookies the other day, but that's it. She's taken it like a champ though and has been really good. I hate admitting we've really just been hanging out in our pajamas all week. Our house is a complete disaster and the wet clothes in the washer have been sitting for hours.
Taking a good look at myself I realize there is seriously no where to go from here but up! I hate the idea that I'm such a slug. Honestly I struggle with laziness most of the time, without a new baby and 4 hours sleep, but I hate it. There are a lot of days I actually think to myself, "man I wish we could drink coffee." It'd be so nice to get synthetic energy.
This is why I have a hard time with New Years. The idea of resolutions is great, but it's overwhelming for me and I end up mostly just feeling worse about myself. I have such a huge list of things I need to work on and I hate only picking one or two because they all are important to me. And it makes me feel even more pathetic that some of my goals would include simple things everyone else does normally, like actually getting dressed every day or flossing. Wow I sound like a bum!
Here is an example of my resolutions:
- Restart reading scriptures everyday
- Remember to say my prayers
- Stop eating junk
- Restart working out
- Manage money better, save more money
- Keep my house cleaner
- Plan more structured activities for Mariska
- Update and keep up my journal
- scrapbook, update baby books and make our family dvd scrapbooks
I could keep going. The hard part about the working out is starting the routine. I need to work out to battle my laziness and have more energy... but I'm too tired and lazy! I have to work up the energy to DO it, in order to GET energy. It's so weird. And frustrating.
So anyway, instead of listing and worrying about each of those goals I'm basically going to sum them all up into one big resolution. So, my New Year's resolution this year: To not be so pathetic! I think that covers everything from getting dressed to being a busy bee. I'll letcha know how things go! I'm starting my goal tomorrow. Brent is taking the night shift with Brynley tonight so I can sleep ALL night!! First time since she was born, I'm so excited!!
1 comment:
Every new mom gets an sweet zone of at least 3 months before she should be expected to do anything productive.
You could easily shorten that list by combining some of them.
ei: be clean. That is so complete and yet general in a way. That way, if you are having a really crappy day and you brush your teeth twice, you've done it! Other days, you could do better on the same subject and still say that you've done it!
You are way too hard on yourself. No one could ever feel truly happy with the kind of expectations you have of yourself. Be happier - that's a good one.
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