New Years?

I feel like it's barely fall. I feel like Halloween should be right around the corner. I can't believe how fast time is flying by ever since Mariska started kindergarten. And especially now that Brynley has speech once a week and we're going to Story Time at the library... wow. It's amazing how fast the weeks go by when you have things to do and places to go.

Then, on top of all that, both girls got sick right over New Years. We were basically held hostage in our house by pneumonia. And now BOOM, we're half way through January! So, I have yet to set and start my new year resolutions.

So, here I go. Anyone who knows me, knows I struggle with my weight. Well, okay, that's a huge understatement. It's so strange. I don't feel so big. I guess we just get used to having our body compositions after a certain amount of time. It's so weird. I feel the same way I felt when we got married. When we were married I knew I needed to lose a bit of weight, and planned to. I needed to lose about 20 pounds... and now it's significantly more. This last Sunday I did my first official "goal weigh in"... and let out a huge sigh of frustration. The scale had the highest number I've seen yet. (Minus being pregnant)

It's extra frustrating this time because of a few different reasons. First, I'm approaching 30 and I know age is not my friend in the whole weight loss/motabolism game. Second, I'm going to be returning to work full-time in June or July and once I do, my ability to set aside good work out sessions will decrease dramatically. And third, and biggest reason... is that now that my weight is higher than it's ever been, I've been noticing several symptoms of Pre-Diabetes and/or Insulin Resistance, and with increasing frequency. To name a few, I'm always thirsty, I get really hungry just minutes after eating a full meal, and I'm getting lightheaded and dizzy daily now. I know it's because of my weight and something needs to change. Oh, and #4 would be that all my fat clothes are too tight and we can't afford to buy more clothes... not when I have a closet FULL of ones that are just too small.


So, as of today I've started my 6 day NO chocolate or dessert challenge. This might sound lame to most people, but for me it's huge. I'm completely addicted to chocolate. If we have a dessert in the house that's not chocolate, then I'll eat it, but it won't call to me the way chocolate does. 6 days without ANY will be VERY difficult for me.


My short term goal will be to lose 15 pounds by Spring Break, or roughly 2 pounds a week. Which, I've done before so I know I can. No excuses. Long term, I need to lose a good 75 pounds. But I've decided not to focus on that number yet, it only overwhelms and frustrates me.


So that's my main goal. I have others of course, to read scriptures better, FHE and such, but those aren't goals you complete, they are just life.


Since I'm rambling. I'm going to ramble some more about something I keep thinking about. Since Brent finished school, my eagerness to go back and get my degree has gotten annoying strong. I know there is nothing to do about it right now, which is part of why it's annoying. I can't go back yet for a plethora of reasons. The girls are too little, money, ect... but I want it! Now that Brent is finished, my brain has gone to "IT'S MY TURN!" mode. I keep having to sing to myself, "there is a season, turn, turn, turn" to remind myself that my time will come. The sudden, extreme acceleration of time is helping as well. I'm really trying to focus on the girls right now, especially Brynley, since I won't have as much time at home with her that I had with Mariska. But still, I want to be able to focus on a class, a goal, something to achieve, for ME. But, I just needed to ramble, I know that the time will be here before I'm ready!


Wish me luck on losing weight!