Work, work, work...

Things around here have been pretty crazy!! I've starting working at Brookdale Senior Living's Sterling House of Waxahachie Assisted Living Community.

I really enjoy it, although I'm eager for my schedule to switch to weekends only, once Brent goes back to work. Although I'm a bit sad about returning to the "never see each other" that was the first 4 years of our marriage. But I really feel like this is what the Lord wants and that it will really help me in so many ways.

This week I'm going to start my training to "pass meds". I have to work 3 shifts, to be able to do it on my own and then after that I go to working once or twice a week. Earning some extra money is nice but after the last 2 weeks being full time, I'm ready to be back home full time and only work a little.

It was really interesting for me to be the one to go to work over 8 hours a day 5-6 days a week. Brent and I had a reversal of roles and it's a little easier to see how the other feels on a regular basis now. It's easier for me to understand now how when he gets home he'd like to just sit for a few minutes. And it's easier for him to see why when he walks through the door, I'm ready to throw the kids at him and hide in my room.

This job is a lot easier then the job I had at the nursing home in Logan. There is very little lifting! It's still really busy, particularly during the day. Just like any other company, they get the work of 3 people out of 2. There is one "med tech" and then one "floor person". The Med Tech is obviously in charge of passing medication at the right times. The floor person is in charge of assisting residents when they page us, but during the day the floor person's job centers around the dining area and meal times. We set the tables, serve all the residents during meals and clean up after each one as well. Technically all this work could be done by the 2 people that are on shift, but the quality of care the residents are getting, in my opinion, isn't the quality of care they should be getting for the average $3,000 a month they are paying. They could get that care with 3 people on shift and the employees will still be busy and not staring at walls.

I've been working primarily grave shifts since being trained. They are much more relaxed and consist mostly of cleaning and laundry. We also check on the residents in the night, but it's nothing like at the nursing home and this is much appreciated.

With some of this extra money, we're putting Mariska into a Mother's Day Out program once a week! I'm so excited! I'm also blessed enough to have a friend across the street that can drive her there and back, because her daughter will be going as well. I'm so excited because Mariska will LOVE it! She's very social and loves playing with other kids. She's so bored here at home and I'm not good at playing, so it will be good for both of us! With a bit of the extra money this month... I know we're supposed to be saving it, but our kids RARELY get fun stuff and I felt it was time for a little something... I bought Mariska "Mickey and the Beanstock" (well okay, it was mostly for me) on dvd. She also got some more playdough, a few coloring/activity books and I bought an Amelia Bedelia book!!!

Brent has just under 6 weeks of summer break left. He's getting in plenty of reading and XBOX, but the garden and being Mr. Mom keep him pretty busy now. We still haven't heard the results from his ESL test he took a couple weeks ago, but I'm not worried at all about his passing. Even though there is always that "what if" in the brain. We should find out pretty soon though. But I'm really not worried, he always passes everything with flying colors. I'm very proud of him and all of his accomplishments.

Brynley is crawling all over the place. She's huge and almost 7 months old now. She's the same size Mariska was at about 10 months old. With a bit of the money, I got her an inflatable push toy that she can push around now that she's crawling, but she's turned out to be scared of it. I put her on the floor with it, and a bunch of other toys and she just kept randomly crying. I got really frustrated with her because to me, there was no reason for the crying and it's like nails on a chalkboard... until a little bit later I sat on the floor with her, Mariska came over and rolled the toy just a bit and Brynley started kicking frantically as though trying to get away from it, then I understood. So, I'm just going to leave it out and let her get used to it. She is still giving us a rough time when it comes to napping, but is sleeping much better at night now. She only gets up in the night a few times a week now but goes right back to sleep when she does. She still won't go to sleep without being pinned down and rocked. If we don't do that she throws the biggest fits imaginable and gets hysterical. There is still a fair sized fit and plenty of screeching, even when we do this. A year ago I could never have imagined a baby to fight sleep as much as Mariska did... I've been proven wrong.

Our fourth of July was fun. We went over to our friends Scott and Mary's house. We had the terrific smoked brisket and Brent made a great pretzel jello salad. Mariska is a pro swimmer and is so proud of herself because she can go the whole length of the pool and back all by herself.

As for me, other then work, I haven't been able to excersize since starting my job. I hate that. Mostly because when I'm home I'm too tired and lazy. I feel guilty if I'm actually home and I spend my time working out. I feel so selfish all the time. Especially when it comes to motherhood. And that makes me feel like an even worse mom. I want to be a good mother and so much of the time I feel like I'm the only one that gets as frustrated being "needed" 24/7. I feel the most terrible when I realize how many times that day I've thought or said the words "just leave me alone" or "please shut up" to my crying infant. I hate feeling that way. I want to be all lovey and nurturing... oh well, I can try over again today. On the weight loss issue, I did go out and buy brown rice and whole wheat bread for myself. I hate that the bread still has high fructose corn syrup in it (the sin against nature) but the only breads that don't are a good $3.50 a loaf and I'm just not able to justify that at this point. Someday I'll get truly healthy bread, but for now mostly healthy will have to do. I've been tempted to buy those Alli pills. But I don't need another thing to spend money on, and I really deeply feel that I can lose the weight on my own, if I could just get off the desserts and get my butt off the couch more often. My problem is that I eat junk at celebrations, like the most recent 4th of July, at parties that have no reason AND when I'm bored, stressed and/or lonely. So there is very little time when I have it in me to just eat right and feel good doing it. But, just like with my "good mother efforts", I can try better today.

And if anyone is even still reading, please comment! As far as I know, 3 people read my blog. This makes me sad. I don't care who you are or how lame you feel your comment may be... leave one! Heck, I don't care if you pound your first on the keyboard and post random letters!! At least I'd know SOMEONE saw what I'm putting my time into. On that note, here are some pictures.

Mariska picking out a cookie for Father's Day.

I love this picture!! So cute!Brent is playing good volleyball here, but I'm mainly impressed by my awesome timing in taking the picture!She's so proud!